American Idol, Vocal perfection and Charisma

In my opinion shows like American Idol which require a person to have an awe inspiring vocal range are doing more harm than good to the music industry. They are finding a face and a voice. Can this face and voice write songs that REALLY touch peoples hearts? I doubt it.

Charisma is not taught. True charisma in the entertainment industry is molded through a traumatic event or slowly created through many difficult times while growing up.

I am going to mention several artists from the history of Rock and Roll: Bob Dylan, Mick Jagger, Kurt Cobain, Tom Petty... None of these men has the pipes of anyone in the finals of American Idol but they all could write songs; songs that really touched and influenced people. They all had/have a charisma that cannot be quantified but you know it when you see it. None of these phenomenal talents could have a chance on today's American Idol but their gifts to the music industry are undeniable. I look at Kurt Cobain. Listen to his music and what do you notice. The man really could not sing very well. Ya he held his own in his genre but he was no Freddy Mercury. But his original music exuded a passion and a pain. He touched a cord with youth and charsimaticly (and involuntarily) led a movement. How about Mick Jagger? He can also hold his own vocally but boy did he and Keith know how to write songs. Then there is Bob Dylan. Let's be honest, this man would have made the "worst performers" compilation on American Idol. He couldn't really sing but he could write not just powerful songs but powerful anthems. Come on, he influenced the Beatles and countless other artists in the 60's.

That reminds me; sometime in the 90's, I think, several of the Jackson (Jackson 5 fame) kids recorded an album and I remember when listening to it and thinking 'somebody else wrote this song for them and they have no emotion when singing'. They sounded like a bunch of rich spoiled kids with no ambition that were given a project to do one day. Hey let's record an album! It kind of bothered me a bit. There is also a video on YouTube of Nancy Sinatra singing "These boots...". She comes across as a talentless, rich kid who finds cutting records as a hobby. You can tell if this individual was not Frank's daughter then she would not have a snowball's chance you know where to be where she was.

As I note the parade of "perfect" vocalists on American Idol that are singing other peoples songs I get a little saddened. I would rather see another kid without perfect pitch that can write and sing songs, which they wrote, that deeply touch me.

Teach your children not to fear failure

One of the greatest paralyzing forces in my youth was the fear of failure. This was especially true when it came to sports. I remember playing baseball as a youth. My worst fear was to drop a ball or to strike out and look in both cases look foolish. Well it happened and I felt foolish which caused me to continue to worry about it and either fear an at-bat or fear the ball coming my way.

This fear of failure made playing the sport absolute misery. I could not enjoy myself. No matter what endeavor I took on I feared failing. So either I failed and was relieved or I did not fail but worried about failing. There was no joy in my youth when it came to taking on new endeavors.

As I have said recently I am 39 and my maturity has given me a different outlook. I played whiffle ball last summer with a bunch of guys that really knew how to play including one guy who was actually unhittable. WHen it was my turn to be at bat or my turn to pitch yes I was nervous. I didn't want to look foolish and I didn't want to let my team down. However, I did not fear failure as I did as a youth.

My first time pitching the first 3 pitches resulted in 3 home runs. How's that? But instead of getting mad and/or quitting I continued to pitch and just accepted it as something to learn from. Well I settled down and got the next 3 guys out. The next inning I pitched I no longer feared the worst. I got a 1-2-3 inning. Yes I had good outings and bad outings but I never feared the bad outing. I just assumed it was a way to learn, make adjustments and have some good outings. By the end of the season I had a great curve ball that righties could never get a good amount of bat on and a killer change-up that made batters look and feel stupid. Most importantly I had fun and really enjoyed playing. I really wish I had that attitude when I was a teenager or even in my 20's. It would have made sports and many of my other endeavors in life far more enjoyable, even if I didn't do them perfectly.

My recommendation is to teach your children not to fear failing but to accept that failure is their best teacher. Also once they accept that they will fail sometimes then they will be freed up to enjoy what they are doing far more, which in turn may make them perform better at what they are doing.

I am not going to credit the car wash for cleaning my car

I refuse to credit the car wash for cleaning my car. My car was very dirty. Yes it was obvious. Yes if I didn't clean it then the salt would make it rust. Yes my car passed through the long tunnel that is a car wash. Yes when the car came out it was cleaner than when it went in. The car is obviously cleaner than when it went in . I insist though that I cleaned it. I now condemn the car wash. Car wash I don't believe in you! I believe I did this myself! I believe the car would be cleaned whether it went through the car wash or not!.

Why would I say this? It makes no sense. Do I sound a little insane?

I recently was looking back on my last 10 years. In 1997 my wife and I began going back to church and we quickly found a wonderful church family and home. Back in 1997 there were many demons in my life. Too many to list. There were demons in our marriage as well as demons in how I lived in the world ethically. I am not professing that when I started going to church that all the demons were gone. I am not saying that I became born again and my world changed overnight. That did not happen to me.

What I am saying is that in the last 10 years there has been a gradual change in me. One that has been dictated by God's preeminent wisdom and sometimes not seen by my own eyes unless I go way back and see who I was many years ago. I don't think the way I did 10 years ago. I don't desire the things that I did 10 years ago. When I fall, I don't feel the same way I did 10 years ago. Despite the glaringly obvious 10 year "cleaning" I have undergone why would I for a moment entertain the idea that I would still be who I am today even if I didn't ask Jesus Christ into my life? But for a moment I did. It was my old self creeping in.

Then I thought to myself, that would be like denying that the car wash cleaned my car after it exited the wash. I was obviously unclean in how I thought. God cleaned my heart - with many setbacks and struggles - and I am a different person today whether I fully see it or not. We must always fight the tendency to take more credit than we deserve. God has a plan for your life and mine. The real test comes in accepting it.

Apathy and comfort are our worst enemies

In the history of the world no society has what we have in the US. Most other first world counries are no where close to the US (have you been to Europe?). This has put humans living in the US in uncharted territory. No society has ever owned so much stuff or has had so much comfort as well as security from outside attack. It has been this way for the entire lives of our population under the age of 20 and for the entire professional life of those workers under 40. Most people under 65 have not felt the threat of losing it all that was felt by the WWII and Depression generation. This has created a high percentage of comfortable people. Though many of those people do not take our freedom for granted it is normal that a high percentage have forgotten or don't know what it means to be under constant threat of losing everything. This manifests a society motivated to not want to rock the boat and lose their stuff and an unwillingness to fight for the societal environment that got them their stuff.

In generations past most people did not have a lot thus their was the clarity to know what was important and the desire to die for it. Today, peolpe have so many "things" and are so comfortable that the mentality is that is "preserving my stuff". They don't want to do anything to upset their comfort, thinking that if they just don't do things to make our enemies hate us then our enemies will not bother us thus preserving our comfort.

The truth of the matter is that our enemies still hate us and they still want to kil us. It doesn't matter if we give they everything they want or if we give them nothing. They still want to kill us and the want the US gone. The "preserve my comfort" thinking clouds most people's judgements which gives birth to the "let's not get them mad at us and let's show them we are nice people" attitudes.

Some politicians play on this and want us to do nothing in hopes that the threat will go away. Any brave leader that actually does something is vilified. So we slowly give them more and more of what we've got in hopes of getting them to see we are not bad people - of course this is motivated by our aforementinoned desire to not want our comfort to be interrupted.

If we choose this pacifest line of thinking then our enemies will take and take some more. They will get stronger and stronger and see us as a paper tiger. Their numbers will increase until suddenly there is more of them than us. Then they will take all our stuff away anyway despite our attempts to placate them in the name of comfort.

Our enemies are not going away and doing nothing out of apathy and to preserve our comfort is not a recipe for victory.

Main-stream media actually does their favorite party a disservice

You know how it goes; The parents favor Johnny and hold him to no standard while Billy has a high standard and it not allowed to fail. When Johnny and Billy grow up, Johnny is a ne'er do well and Billy is an upstanding and hardworking citizen.

I have observed in my lifetime that there is a pattern with the media that is progressively getting worse. It is a fact that 90% or more of the press are democrats and the the people at the top of the news organizations are liberal zealots. This creates a double standard where the Democrats can definately get away with normal human failures and the press even does what it can to make excuses for bad behavior by the Dems. However when the Republicans to the same things they are run out of town on a rail. It is to the point where the suspicion of a Republican doing something is enough to destroy them but some Democrats can commit felonies and the main-stream press will work hard to make excuses for them.

This double standard, I believe, has actually hurt the Democrats in the long run. For the most part only the most upstanding Republicans even get into the race because there is such a high standard for them. While at the same time Democrats are attracting moral reprobates for the most part because there is practically no standard with the press for the Dems.

Luckily the American people have different standard than the press. For those who seek their news outside of the NYTIMES, CBS, ABC, NBC, NPR, et al, there is a clearer view of the non-liberal side. The american people tend to know a moral reprobate when they see one and they know when they see a good person with normal flaws. There are still times when a relentless pounding by the press takes its toll on those the press does not favor but more often than not the american people see through it.

God Bless America

The Fulfillment of Self-Denial

Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me..." - Matthew 16:24

In my walk with Christ nothing has changed me more than the truth behind the fulfillment of self-denial. Huh? Isn't that the same thing as saying 'I like the warm feeling I get when jumping into a frozen lake?' It does seem somewhat paradoxical but this concept really established a new paradigm in my life.

It is the Lord that is transforming me from a selfish person to a self-sacrificing person and I am more thankful than anyone could ever know. This is because of the joy - the true joy - that is felt when you refuse yourself in order to please another. This is not an easy transition for most because in our society we are indoctrinated with the notion of looking out for number one will bring us fulfillment in life. Also, many people feel that they have been cheated in life either by a rotten childhood or other misfortunes as an adult, so they feel even more entitled to balance the scales to their side. This does not mean that these people are hopeless. In fact they have a more powerful gift in front of them than people do with fewer bumps in the road of life. The person who had fewer bumps or the person who saw selfless giving modeled at home might find it natural to become self-sacrificing. Though the reward of joy is just as meaningful they had fewer hurdles to achieve it. The person who had never seen selfless giving displayed to them growing up or were left to find joy on their own will find the whole concept completely foreign to them. Frankly, they may believe that the whole concept is just hogwash and the people who refuse themselves are suckers and easy pray in the rat race of life. Their greatest challenge in life is to let go of their worldly beliefs no matter how deeply rooted. They must recognize worldly tendencies and correct them.

But it is my contention that these people, more often than not, are successful in business and other worldly things, they are never truly happy. They never know true peace at the end of their 10-hour day. They expect people to do their fair share for them before they even consider giving anything up. You see their view of each day relies on their interactions with people or what they encountered during the day. This is a terrible mistake. To use an analogy, it is like a captain of a ship using another boat to guide him to shore. The other boat is in the water too and is at the whim of the waves - very unreliable. The word of the Lord is like the lighthouse. The ship captain must trust in something out of the water to keep him steady and safe. For anyone who has taken the leap of faith to be self-sacrificing instead of self-serving, has chosen to allow the Lord to be that lighthouse. They see the worldly person as completely transparent and in many cases truly feel for. The worldly person may know - or may think they know - some semblance of peace or happiness but the true peace and joy that I speak of can only be found through what the Lord commands.

You see I was very much a worldly person. Money was my god and I was sure that if I just made more money I would find contentment and joy. I also believed that others were put here to make me happy. I was absolutely convinced of this. Anything or anyone that negatively affected my dream was despised - obsessively. My dear wife took much heat for many years for not bringing in more money. I put undue pressure on her to make sure I was happy. I was also constantly upset with myself for not making more money. Each time either of us got raises I would soon realized I was not happy and thus it was necessary to bring in more money. Happiness was always another raise away - again.

The Lord has taught me many, many truths in the last few years. Concerning happiness the truth came in the late 90's during dot-com gold rush. During this time I was lucky enough to get stock options that were eventually worth several hundred thousand dollars. You would think that a level of comfort would finally set in. No. I was paranoid that the price of the stock would fall. 'Should I sell now or later?' 'Maybe if I don't sell it will be worth a million in two years'. These were my new obsessive thoughts. I also obsessed about certain people in the office that had more options than me and when would I get some more. If I sold now I would have instant security, right?? ... But the stock may go up... Should I sell? ... should I buy? AAAAAAhhhhh. The words "He who loves money never has enough" never spoke louder to me. Either well off or just scraping by, I had to change how I lived my life, my priorities in my life and with whom I would find joy and true prosperity.

We all know the story about the dot-coms. Well, I never sold and they are now worth $0. I know what you are saying, 'what a dope!' Frankly, it is nice to not have the anxiety and paranoia that all that 'potential' money brought to me. This turn of events also answered my theories on comfort and happiness. Actually, they were blown out of the water. I now knew that no matter how much money I have it will not bring true joy.

Does my testimony mean that everyone who seeks joy in life through money should have it then lose it? It may help some, as it did me, but others may not have the revelation that God gave me and they will continue to chase happiness through worldly things their entire lives. Most importantly, it's a leap of faith toward that which is inherently illogical to most people - that refusal of self will bring you an inner peace and joy that cannot be described - that many people are unable or unwilling to take.

OK, this is all well and good and the Bible says it true but let's say you have no idea how to put this into practice. Simply put, in any situation where your needs or desires meet someone else's, put your needs or desires aside for the other person. It is really that simple. You married folks may say 'what if my spouse does not return in kind?' or 'Am I doing this all in vain?'. Those questions tell me that you are now back in the world again and you are thinking like people of the world. Remember the world expects you to look out for yourself and make sure that your needs are met first. Children of God seek to please others first and do not expect anything in return. That is the difference and the key to doing it God's way. Because it is pleasing to the Lord is your reward. Stories I love to hear typically involve a hero that saves a drowning child or something like that and then disappears into the crowd. No one knows him or her and there are no accolades bestowed upon that person - except by the Lord. Jesus promised that if your deeds are done in secret, or without seeking rewards from the world, then your Father will reward you.

Let's look at some practical examples. Let's say there is one cookie left and you want it but your spouse, who has had five cookies already, wants it too. Give it to your spouse. If your spouse's back hurts and you are really too tired and just want to sleep, then massage his or her back anyway. The greater the sacrifice the greater the joy. Even if your spouse is not in need, ask if you can make them coffee or ask is they would like a shoulder rub or just give them a hug - something you know that would make them happy. You will be surprised that you will feel joy too. In another sense, if your spouse or friend or co-worker treats you in a less than respectful way, do not return the disrespect in kind. Instead, serve them and treat them with kindness. Do not be drawn in to the world.

In my opinion the closest thing to a perfect Christian marriage is one where both spouses seek to live a relationship of sacrificial love because an attitude of selflessness will override bad moods and good moods, bad days and good days, bad luck and good luck, etc. If one spouse does not have the desire to provide selfless giving then the other spouse must maintain the giving and pray for the worldly spouse. As in marriage an attitude of service and refusal of self is the foundation any strong relationship and anyone can do it. God created us with free will and he built in us this source of true joy if we only seek to practice it.

This reminds me of this past Thanksgiving holiday. Our family went to Sherri's folks and stayed overnight. During the night Alicia was crying so we took her to bed with us. Around 7am she slid out of bed. Amongst other things she got hold of a 'baby-wipe' from the diaper bag. She then proceeded to wash Sherri's feet and then my feet. It tickled but it was absolutely adorable. Although she really didn't know the historical and biblical significance of what she was doing, in a sense it reflected the natural tendency to serve selflessly that we are born with. Though the world may do it's best to teach us otherwise we must remain steadfast to sew the seeds of self-sacrifice and reap the true joy that is elusive in that which is worldly.

1 We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. 2 Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. 3 For even Christ did not please himself but, as it is written: 'The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me.' 4 For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. 5 May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, - Romans 15:1-5

[Originally written on Tuesday, December 18, 2001]

Women are Not objects

Just because there is your favorite candy on the counter and you know how much you would love the taste, it doesn't mean that you need to eat it.

There is an epidemic in our society today. Young women by the millions, most of whom have a poor or no relationship with their dads, are sitting on the counter and giving themselves away to all takers. Ok, the young horny man may say "All right!" I was one of those young men who would have reacted that way. But as I close in on 40 years of age I know different now. Women are humans, not objects. That may seem like an obvious statement to many but those who have learned about sex via the porn industry, believe different.

Just because these lost women asked to be treated like trash or like a piece of meat doesn't mean we men should do it. Any woman that want that, for money or not, is a woman who needs you to taker her in your arms and tell her that she is worth so much more than she thinks.

This is not a normal human instinct, especially from me. This requires you to turn your life over to the Lord and to pray for His strenght and pray for His wisdom to say the right words and do the right thing when it comes to lost women who sell their bodies and souls for ca$h.

Women in porn are not objects - though they are treated as such. They are girls who just wanted to play tea with their daddies or be loved and protected by their daddies. They are in need of men of God to tell them they don't need to sell themselves. They are children of God and very special. Men, step up to the plate and stop patronizing these porn sites and porn shops and do what is right.

Common sense, Iraq and WMDs

Ok. Let's say I am a college aged druggy and I keep a stash in my dorm room. It is clear that I have the stash of drugs because I have been seen by all selling them. The local authorities tell me that I they have a request of me. They would like to let someone in my dorm room to verify I have no drugs. Ok. So they send their local nit-wit, spineless type to look over my dorm room. I hide the stash under my pillow. The local nit-wit comes in to my room. He clearly does not want a confrontation with me. I let him look in my closet and that is it. He looks in my closet and leaves. He tells the local authorities that I do not have drugs. I then begin to sell again. They again tell me the nit-wit is coming. I put the drugs under my pillow and the nit-wit checks my closet. He then says that he wants to check my bed. I tell him no and show him out the door. I say no more inspections of my dorm room. I then begin to sell drugs again. People around me are tired of my dealing and want it stopped before I do more damage to more people in my dorm.

I continue to defy the local authorities on campus and they continue to send me letters telling me to stop. I do not stop. Then finally some small-time dealer sells drugs to a cop's son and the son dies. Now the big boys are mad and they tell the local authorties to tell me to stop. I continue to sell my drugs. Eventually the big boys say they are going to take matters in to their own hands. This worries me. Everyone knows I sell drugs but now the big boys are thinking about coming in and they will find my stash.

The big boys then keep telling me they are coming via letters they are sending me. I kinda think they are serious so I take my stash and bring it to my buddy's room in another dorm. I then scrub my room and make it clean as a whistle.

The big boys then break into my room and expel me from school based on my history of selling drugs and plans to sell more. However they find no drugs in my room. All their warnings gave me more than ample time to get all the drugs to my friend's room.

The big boys are then excoriated by the local press because they found no drugs! HA HA HA HA HA The big boys are then voted out of office and replaced by people who only want to send more letters asking me to stop. HA HA HA HA