Teach your children not to fear failure

One of the greatest paralyzing forces in my youth was the fear of failure. This was especially true when it came to sports. I remember playing baseball as a youth. My worst fear was to drop a ball or to strike out and look in both cases look foolish. Well it happened and I felt foolish which caused me to continue to worry about it and either fear an at-bat or fear the ball coming my way.

This fear of failure made playing the sport absolute misery. I could not enjoy myself. No matter what endeavor I took on I feared failing. So either I failed and was relieved or I did not fail but worried about failing. There was no joy in my youth when it came to taking on new endeavors.

As I have said recently I am 39 and my maturity has given me a different outlook. I played whiffle ball last summer with a bunch of guys that really knew how to play including one guy who was actually unhittable. WHen it was my turn to be at bat or my turn to pitch yes I was nervous. I didn't want to look foolish and I didn't want to let my team down. However, I did not fear failure as I did as a youth.

My first time pitching the first 3 pitches resulted in 3 home runs. How's that? But instead of getting mad and/or quitting I continued to pitch and just accepted it as something to learn from. Well I settled down and got the next 3 guys out. The next inning I pitched I no longer feared the worst. I got a 1-2-3 inning. Yes I had good outings and bad outings but I never feared the bad outing. I just assumed it was a way to learn, make adjustments and have some good outings. By the end of the season I had a great curve ball that righties could never get a good amount of bat on and a killer change-up that made batters look and feel stupid. Most importantly I had fun and really enjoyed playing. I really wish I had that attitude when I was a teenager or even in my 20's. It would have made sports and many of my other endeavors in life far more enjoyable, even if I didn't do them perfectly.

My recommendation is to teach your children not to fear failing but to accept that failure is their best teacher. Also once they accept that they will fail sometimes then they will be freed up to enjoy what they are doing far more, which in turn may make them perform better at what they are doing.